Teaching Kids About Finances

Parents face a lot of challenges these days. From first days of school, to first crushes, to when they turn 16 and get their driver's license -- we deal with it all, eventually. But, there are some things that need to be dealt with sooner rather than later. One lesson that kids need to learn while they are still young is how to manage money. Financial responsibility is a skill that will stay with your child for the rest of their life. I'm dealing with the same issue right now with my daughters, and here I'll share some of the things I've done, and offer insight into raising a financially disciplined child.

• Teach your child the difference between a "need" and a "want". Often, a youngster can't really distinguish between the two, especially if they are used to getting pretty much whatever they want. Here's what I did. I explained to my kids that things like rent, electricity, and car insurance were "needs", meaning we couldn't really get along without them. Things like the newest video game system, or a new cell phone (my 8-year-old wants a cell phone...it's NOT going to happen!) are "wants"....sure, they would be nice to have, but we can get by without them. If your child has a clear idea of the difference between "need" and "want", they will be more likely to spend their money on something that's more important to them, instead of wasting it.
  
  
• Encourage your kids to save a little, each time they earn some money. With my girls, I give them an allowance of a dollar a week, for every year of their age. I also made a rule that they have to save half, and spend half. Think about adding interest to what your children save up. That will show them that sometimes saving is better than spending right away, because they will have more money to spend in the long run. Older kids can figure for themselves how much extra they are earning by getting interest on their savings. This would also be a good time to teach kids the good and bad things about borrowing.
  
  
• Set limits on their spending. Don't allow them to just "blow" their money on anything they want. For example, if you're like me, and you have a child that runs outside with money in hand every time they hear the ice cream truck...you have to teach them that sometimes you can't have whatever you want, whenever you want it, and that they can get a lot more down the road if they just show some financial restraint. Kids model what they see, so set a great example by being financially sensible yourself. Just because that plasma TV is on sale, doesn't mean that you should run out and buy it!
  
  
• Take your kids, as soon as they are old enough, to your local bank or credit union and help them open their very own savings account. My grandparents did that for me when I turned ten. They started me out with a hundred dollars, and by the time I turned 18 I had almost five thousand dollars! That money came in really handy when it came time for me to strike out on my own.
  
  
• Here's something that helped me save money: When I wanted to buy something with part of my savings, (for example, I paid to go to summer camp when I was 13), my parents didn't really object. Being able to reward yourself occasionally is part of what makes saving worthwhile.
  
  
• You may also consider savings bonds, because they can be bought for half of the face value, and if your child uses the interest earned from the bond to help pay for college, it may be tax-deductible. Bonds also can't be spent right away, which will teach your child a lesson in delayed gratification.
  
  
• Let your kids make their own spending decisions (within reason of course). Whether they make a good choice, or a not-so-good one, they will learn from it. Teach them to weigh the pros and cons, and to do some research and compare different options before they make that purchase. If you use credit cards, take that chance to teach them how credit works. They should know how to protect themselves against credit card fraud, how to calculate a bill or a tip, and how to make sure they aren't getting overcharged.
  
  
• Treat your kids' school attendance as if it is a full time job (which in my opinion, it is). Many grown-ups get performance bonuses in their jobs, so why not do the same thing for the kids? Reward good grades, and reward them for improvement as well. That will motivate them to keep doing well in school. When they get old enough, encourage them to get a part-time job so that they can learn about taxes and Social Security withholding. (Plus, if your kids are anything like mine, they value their money more if they are the ones who have earned it).
  
  
• Nurture an entrepreneurial spirit within your child. Many kids earn their own money by walking their neighbor's dog, raking leaves, shoveling snow in the winter, or something similar. Or, if your kids are like mine and have way too much stuff, help them have a yard sale. They'll be de-cluttering their bedrooms, and earning (and hopefully saving) money, too!
  
  
• Level with them in an age appropriate manner. Kids can pick up on things from a very young age. They know when Mom and Dad are stressed out, and when they are old enough, you can start explaining when and if money gets tight around the house.
  
  In my opinion, kids detect lies, cover-ups and half-truths far more often than most parents realize, and this can lead to a child having problems with honesty later in life.
  
  
• Also, explain to your kids that they shouldn't just blindly buy into what they hear on TV and see on the internet. The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that an American child sees over 40,000 commercials each year. That is a lot for a child to process. Explain to your kids that it may look great on TV or online, but just because "so and so" has a fancy car or all the latest gadgets, doesn't mean that they should live beyond their means.
  

I've used a lot of these tips within my own family, and I can honestly say that I think my advice is beginning to take root. Just the other day, I asked my daughter if she wanted to spend her allowance at Wal-Mart, in the toy aisle, and she said, "No...I'm saving up to buy a new bike". I was shocked, but I was really proud, too. If you employ some or all of the tactics I've written about here, I'm willing to bet that your child will soon surprise you with a nugget of financial wisdom as well.

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Money and happiness ... illusory correlation?

Some might argue that the correlations between love and happiness are illusory. Ask a poor loved person what they could use more of and chances are they will say money. Ask a rich single person what they lack and chances are they will say love. How do we rank our human necessities and our mental necessities? In doing this, one would also be taking into consideration that our own struggles have fixated our minds on the needs of life, as we see them. If survival is our basic human instinct, does that make love our basic human necessity? I can't say for sure money can't buy me happiness, but I'm positive love has never written a check for my bills.

I was a teen mother and the only true description I can give you on our lives at that time is that we were broke, I mean broke to the brokest of broken! Yes, I said brokest. That’s how broke we were. I had to expand my vocabulary in order to describe it because Webster couldn’t even help me with that. I was eight months pregnant sleeping on the floor, and every morning when I woke up although my body felt like I got hit by a 40,000 lb truck moving at 75 mph. I was young and in love. There were times when comfort was by no means within a three hundred mile radius of my life, but I can’t recall ever being really and truly unhappy.

My impecunious status not just throughout the times of my pregnancy with my first born, but through life in general was the fuel my mind needed to climb out of the struggle. By the time I was 21, I was a licensed real estate agent. Three children and a career later, I thought for certain my life was coming together. I mingled amongst the rich, and it was smashing! I sipped wine that made my lips cringe and ate cheese that made my nose curl. My swallows were shallow and my breaths were deep when I found out that caviar was processed salted roe, and not just a “seasoning”. I had to talk my body into keeping it down. The thought of puking all over the marble floor was mortifying. I explored my vocabulary to the very depths of my being to validate the house on the corners price tag and its empty lot next door. My first commission check was like winning the lottery, only better. I had done this, I was making money! Things were definitely at their high point because with money came happiness. Right? Wasn’t happiness moneys right hand man?

“Money makes the world go ‘round” was what I had heard so many times. Real estate meant money, and in my life lacked money so it didn't take a college education for my mind to convolute the two. Three years into my real estate career, I was divorcing. I by no means blame myself because I know there were so many other issues that came between us, but it's one of those things that isn't supposed to happen when you have life figured out. Through hours of soul searching and chicken souping my hit-by-a-train soul I came to the realization that I had lost all the passion I once knew. Life became strictly business, the laughs and good times were scarce. What I did had to benefit me in one way or another. If it didn’t make me money, I wouldn’t do it. I knew this wasn’t what my HEART wanted to do, but my WALLET loved it. If I didn't have to spend another day sleeping on the floor or worrying about groceries for the next week, I was ok. Wasn’t I? I wasn't ok, this wasn't ok. I lost my grip.

I can honestly say only up until recently have I realized what I want to be when I grow up. I revisited my heart and took into account my feelings and my ambitions for life and not the balance in my checking account. Although you can’t let money drive you, it’s important to remain aware that love alone cannot sustain you. Take all your life’s lessons, unique ideas and yes, even some of those so regretted mistakes and mush them together. Then sift through them patiently until you find that yummy goodness. Find that middle ground in life, and ride life until the wheels fall off! I have yet to meet someone who can honestly tell me they want to struggle for money, but I’ve met all too many who have said the money wasn’t worth the life they lost. I've seen the money, now where is the love?

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How Money Really Works

So you think you understand how money works? OK, maybe you're a finance or economics professor and you know exactly how money works in the USA. If not, then I highly recommend the following long but extremely enlightening video series I found on YouTube.com. I've added each segment of the five part Money As Debt series in order below for easy viewing. The series was created by Canadian artist Paul Grignon. Comments welcome. Enjoy!

Money As Debt: Part 1 of 5




Money As Debt: Part 2 of 5




Money As Debt: Part 3 of 5





Money As Debt: Part 4 of 5




Money As Debt: Part 5 of 5

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The Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Stupid Things I Have Done with Money

The current financial situation of my family -- me, my wife and our two young boys -- is so tight that stupid decisions we make about money really cost us. It wasn't always the case. Back when we could still use our credit cards and my wife was working for a nice paying corporation that would eventually lay her off about a month before our second son was born, we had enough financial wriggle room to be boneheads. Which we were. Repeatedly. I have kept a mental list of some of the most egregious of our mistakes.

-- My family kept one of those grocery store carpet machines out for a about a week and half. We used the machine for maybe two hours and then didn't return it due to sheer laziness. That Hall of Shame moment cost us $325 dollars.

-- We've racked up $50 in Blockbuster late fees. Maybe more. I joke to my wife that one day they're going to put us in Blockbuster jail. We're a funny family, but we're also idiots.

-- Sorry, this one is directly on my wife. It's late at night, the kids are finally in bed and she picks out a movie that she'd like to watch on Pay Per View. I order it, see how much we're going to pay, the credits roll and the next sound I hear is her snoring.

-- We've paid for swimming lessons we've given up on. Gym memberships that went moldering. Fat and broke, that's how we roll.

-- I've agreed to those extended car warranties even when I knew I they were a rip off.

-- We bought a sandbox for our two boys. Two bags of play sand costs about $8 at Home Depot. In the world of expenses for kids, that is nothing. But when you keep leaving the top of the sand box off and it rains and ruins the sand and then you GO BACK to Home Depot again and again to fill up the sandbox, well, you're entering some higher plain of stupidity.

-- Back then, every once in a while, we'd make these grand shows of getting serious about our finances. We'd go to great lengths combing through the paper and cutting out grocery store coupons -- which, of course, we would leave at home each and every time.

I'd like to say that making this list makes me feel better. But really the only thing that would do that is if we start saving money. And we aren't there yet, but our circumstances are forcing us to try harder and hopefully one day be smarter.

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The End of an Affair

Most people love money. So many people today choose to buy expensive material things and validate themselves by these purchases. Money helps people feel important, to take control, to make a statement about who they are. Money becomes a best friend, a family member, and a lover. Obtaining money is all some people can think about and all that they believe in. It doesn’t matter how they get it or who they hurt in the process, as long as in the end they get the money they need to feed their addiction.

Some people don't have the means to gain the money they desire but this doesn't stop them from having irresponsible flings with it. Even though these people may be late on their bills, they will go out and buy something they can't afford just to make themselves feel better. And it will usually work. During the heat of the moment people who make an impulsive purchase will feel like they are at the peak of their happiness. And when the feeling disappears they'll likely feel guilty, ashamed and regretful. Not much different than a one night stand.

Like all love affairs, my own love affair with money was short, sweet and tumultuous. It was both satisfying and completely unsatisfying at the same time. And similar to many love affairs, mine began at work. My job as a sales representative on Wall Street in New York City started up a love for money that would only go away after it ran its course. It became a love-hate relationship in which I began to spiral out of control.

Making a ton of money as a person who wasn’t even good at her job seemed like everything I ever wanted. I was renting an apartment in a top building and I was able to buy anything I wanted. I shopped in boutiques, purchased the newest cell phones the day they hit the market and treated people to dinners and drinks. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was building my life around money and money was the thing that was in control.

After I lost my job the love affair became quite rocky. I no longer had the sparkle of admiration I once felt towards money since it was now seeing less and less of me. I moved out of my elevator building apartment into someone’s rental in their house. I went from having a washer, dryer, dishwasher, microwave and air conditioner to having none of these. The quiet of the building I had lived in was replaced by screaming landlords who constantly argued with each other. Instead of shopping at boutiques I started shopping at Old Navy and other discount clothing stores. Eating out and partying all the time was replaced with staying home and cooking dinner.

Some people in my situation would have never given in to the evil tricks that money played on them. These types of people would have picked themselves up, got a new high paying job and started up their love affair again. They would believe that they were back in control, but of course this would just be another trick money would play on them. The second time around would likely be more passionate than the first, and it would become a lifelong addiction that created life for those who chose it. People that would never dream of a real life affair find themselves embroiled in controversy and secret desires.

But love affairs rarely end up so happy in the end. If they do, it takes a lot of pain and struggle to get to the end goal and a lot of people get hurt in the process. I chose to end my love affair with money by replacing it with something real, a true love that was not based on sneaky escapades and under-the-cover operations. As you look back on the choices you’ve made thus far in your life, ask yourself, are you in the midst of an affair?

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